


The Case of the Two Fighting Professors

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Its all crack, M/M, and some fluff, based on another fic, but yeah its crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alternatively titled: KageHina are stupid, Oikawa and Akaashi are the worst study buddies, Yachi just wants her education, and Azzie likes plot devices and breaking the fourth wall.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji & Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru & Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 27
Kudos: 368





	The Case of the Two Fighting Professors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spadebrigade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spadebrigade/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Mystery of Professor Yamaguchi's Husband](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26234275) by [spadebrigade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spadebrigade/pseuds/spadebrigade). 



> I CAN EXPLAIN!! Okay so what am I doing instead of updating Red Carpets, Roses and Rom coms? Writing crack because honestly I haven't really felt like writing recently. This can and probably should be read as a sequel (can I call it that?) to @spadebrigade 's The Mystery of Professor Yamaguchi's Husband (which I would link if I had any idea how). You should most definitely read it, it is literally art I laughed so hard while reading it. Anyways, I hope you like it?

Yachi has always been nostalgic. It goes hand in hand with freaking out about everything, you tend to remember the good (or at least, better) experiences. So if she was, in fact, looking at her new schedule angrily, it was solely for that reason. Semesters come and go, usually one of the few good things about student life, but Yachi had gotten a bit attached to her setup. She already liked the subjects, but finding out her stoic and mean teacher was married to her bubbly oversharing teacher? Iconic. It had been a fun semester.

Oikawa laughed at her. “Why are you mad at your schedule? It’s your fault for not choosing courses they were teaching.” He was right, of course, but it didn’t stop her from being disappointed. 

Her negative outlook? Quickly dissuaded once she met her new teacher, Hinata Shouyou, or Hinata, as he insisted his students call him. Though that particular sentence reminded her of Professor Yamaguchi, her old Astronomy professor, they couldn’t be any more different. Where Professor Yamaguchi was soft and sweet, Professor Hinata (or Hinata, she supposed) was loud, boisterous and overly excitable. She doubted anyone could have a negative outlook in his presence, the man looked happy to be wherever he was. He also made a point of explaining to everyone exactly how upset he would be if they commented on his height. (Yachi could tell, somehow, it was a sore topic.)

Truthfully, she had been dreading this class. For some strange reason, both Anatomy and Population Analytics were mandatory for her major. The idea of studying patterns in data bored her to death. Somehow, it had seemed Professor Hinata knew that. “Analytics isn't just about staring at numbers. It’s about knowing the odds, and beating them.” His eyes had sparkled, and Yachi knew she was in agreement with the rest of the class. They would follow Professor Hinata anywhere. 

You could always count on him to brighten your morning. It was particularly ridiculous, though, because he seemed to be the polar opposite of her other professor, Professor Kageyama. (She was getting deja vu. The whole thing was about as ridiculous as if she was the star of some fanfiction or something like that. Funny, right?) Professor Kageyama was cool and calm. He was scary looking, at first, but you could tell he liked his topic of study. “It’s all about being diligent.” He said on their first day. He explained how each body part worked in motion, and you could tell he knew from experience. 

What was more ridiculous than all of those increasingly ridiculous things combined, was their relationship together. In stark contrast to Professor Yamaguchi and Professor Tsukishima last semester, they absolutely detested each other. Due to repairs in the other campus building, her courses had been set up so that she had two classes in the same lecture hall, one consequently after the other. When she had heard about it, she was delighted. Taking two vastly different courses last semester had meant she had to walk all the way to the other side of campus to get to each of them. If it meant she could walk less, Yachi was all for it. She thought, though, that having two classes might not have been that bad of a thing for the sake of her two professors, if not her. 

The reasons they fought were infinite, and each more petty and immature as the last. One time, Professor Kageyama had spent twenty five minutes of class yelling about how Professor Hinata was an “unqualified bastard who doesn’t have an ounce of talent in him.” 

She complained about it, conversationally, at one of her study group meetings. 

Oikawa, ever the gossip, had leaned forward conspiratorially. “You’re talking about Professor Chibi and Professor Grumpy, right?” 

“...sure.”

“I had them last year. God, they should make sure somehow the two aren’t within two feet of each other, the way they fight. For no reason as well! It’s pretty funny, though, and you can rile them up super easily. More like they’re your classmates rather than your teachers. Reminds me of my high school days.” Yachi sure was glad she didn’t go to the same high school as Oikawa. 

Akaashi looked deep in thought, then he snapped his fingers. “They were the flirting professors!” He exclaimed, surprisingly loud and excited despite his usual quiet and calm demeanor. 

“Flirting?” Yachi asked, curious. Oikawa looked even more delighted (If that was possible. She wouldn’t put it past Oikawa to not be overly dramatic, though.) 

Akaashi put his head in his hands. “God, they should just date already. I’m sure at least 80% of the department’s complaints would be resolved if they just dealt with their sexual tension.”

Yachi was lost, to be honest. “What? I never see them flirting.”

Oikawa took out a fresh piece of paper. Akaashi unzipped his pencil case. Oh boy, they were going to give her an unnecessarily detailed explanation, complete with doodle and excessive use of highlighters. Normally these were related to actual subjects of study, but she supposed this was important enough.

“Have you ever noticed, Yachi, that whenever Professor Grumpy-” Akaashi cleared his throat. “- Sorry, Professor Kageyama, always adds an aside to his insults?” Oikawa waited for her response, clearly having too much fun.

“Not really?”

“Oh but Yachi, he does. Think back. Sometimes he’ll say something like  _ Professor Hinata is a bastard with no talent _ -” His impression was uncanny. “ _ -but he works hard, at least. _ ” Now that Yachi thought about it, though, she definitely remembered Professor Kageyama saying something like that.

Akaashi continued, quieter than Oikawa but just as into it. “And professor Hinata? Always seems to accidentally leave an extra cup of coffee with a rude message on it in Professor Kageyama’s general proximity.”

Yachi had to protest at this. “But professor Kageyama hates coffee!” She didn’t know why she was protesting. She just couldn’t believe she had endured two months of fighting only to find out it was misguided flirting.

Akaashi pushed up his glasses up the bridge of his nose. (Were those Oikawa’s glasses? Did Akaashi even have glasses? Where did those even come from?) “Ah, but you see. That’s not coffee. It’s milk.” 

Oikawa pointed at a note he had made on the aforementioned lined paper. “On a spy mission I sent my associates on,” What. Yachi didn’t think she had ever been more confused. “They found that the cup was, in fact, filled with milk. Why would professor Hinata buy Professor Kageyama milk every morning when Professor Kageyama probably has it in his fridge?” 

In perfect sync, both him and Akaashi said “Because they’re in love.” Looks like she wasn’t going to get any studying done. 

She looked over the now filled out piece of paper they had summarised their speech on. A look of excitement came on her face. She had solved the mystery of her old professor’s husband. She could solve this too. Albeit, figuring out her professors were married and fixing her professors’ relationship issues were two very different things, but Yachi didn’t read all the Nancy Drew books for nothing. If anything, she at least just wanted to learn something. 

(She told herself that, but she had to admit, Oikawa and Akaashi’s presentation made a lot of sense.) 

* * *

She started small. It began with her saying small comments like “Oh, but isn’t professor Kageyama so handsome?” Whenever Professor Hinata started one of his tangents. He would blush bright red and drop the topic. She did note that though he didn’t stop accidentally leaving the coffee cups filled with milk, he stopped leaving mean messages on them. She supposed she could take that as a win. Detective Yachi worked slowly and carefully. She was prepared to wait for results. (When she told this to Oikawa and Akaashi, they burst into laughter. “No amount of meddling will fix whatever that is.” Oikawa said between bursts of laughter. That didn’t stop them from asking for updates, though.)

Professor Kageyama was a little harder. Whenever she said a compliment, he would just nod his head slowly and look off into the distance wistfully. She was practically enabling him! She made a comment, one day, on the milk cup. 

“Some nice person leaves it here everyday. I wouldn’t want milk to go to waste.” He said bluntly. Yachi thought she might laugh. Or cry. Or both. 

(“The absurd ridiculousness of it all,” She told Oikawa and Akaashi, “I’m telling you, it’s like I’m in badly written fanfiction.”)

She just came out with it, one day and told him. “Professor Hinata leaves those cups in here everyday.” she meant to say it casually, but it just slipped out when he started complaining. The look on his face was beautiful. It was so hilariously strange that Yachi wanted a painting to commemorate it. Yes, Professor Kageyama was smiling.

Yes, it was so strange that to this day, people speak of it as a legend on campus. He had sat at his desk for the rest of class, the lesson forgotten. Yachi was beginning to think that maybe this whole thing was more trouble than it was worth. She decided that she would take a break from trying to fix their relationship. Even Nancy Drew took breaks. 

She didn’t say anything for a few days. She didn’t mention either professor to the other. She just sat down, opened her notes, and prepared herself mentally for her professor’s to start complaining about each other. Imagine her surprise when neither of them did. Professor Hinata, was, if anything, more engrossed in the lesson than ever before! He jumped higher, talked louder, and smiled bigger. It was like being in direct contact with the sun, whatever had happened in the past two days had left Professor Hinata in a very good mood. 

Whatever it was, at least she learned something about analytics. Sometimes, no matter what the quota is, no matter what the norm is, nor matter what the numbers say, something will be completely different. Strange, she thought, how often analytics could be applied to real life.

Professor Kageyama was equally into his subject matter. He just returned to his original demeanor, with the occasional long sigh in between. He looked...happy, at least. (However much happy someone with a demon smile could be.)

What was even more strange was the fact that teachers all over campus were patting her on the back and thanking her. (She was a detective, but this was too strange for even her.) The first instance of it was at the food truck. Yachi didn’t bring any lunch, so she was picking some up from a food truck. Kuroo Tetsurou, a Physics and Business Professor, and Kenma Kozume, a Software and Design Professor ran up to her. (Well, Kuroo ran, Kenma shuffled.)

“Thank you so much for helping with Kageyama and Shou.” Professor Kenma said quietly. Professor Kuroo was far more vocal, yelling about her achievements so loudly the food truck guy was concerned. 

That wasn’t even the start of it. Professor’s Aone and Futakuchi came up to her in between classes. Aone bowed deeply and even the normally mean Futakuchi praised her. She was confused throughout the whole ordeal, but also very flattered. 

The most strange instance was when Professors Yamaguchi and Tsukishima stopped her after class. Professor Tsukishima held out a cake and Professor Yamaguchi looked absolutely giddy.

“Professors, I have to ask...what is this for?”

“You mean you don’t know?” The two professors grinned at each other. They grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her across campus. She was on good basis with them, but not like this? It was especially strange for Professor Tsukishima, who loved bringing up department policy whenever he could. 

They led her to the back of the second campus building, a favourite spot of hers, surrounded by trees and devoid of many students. There, on a bench off to the side, sat Professor Kageyama and Professor Hinata, arguing.

The only difference? They were holding hands, looking at each other as if there was nothing and no one else around them. 

Looks like another successful case for Detective Yachi.  Now, if only she could solve the problem of that pretty girl she kept seeing around campus.

Hey, even detectives are looking for love. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @/snazzieyama for updates (and more crack)


End file.
